Pride

I did something today of which I am proud. But I have no right to be... because I didn't really do anything, well, not much of a thing, really, in the grander scheme of things. Lately I've been praying to God for a passion for people. I've been asking Him to be my number one priority, and waiting I guess for opportunities to serve Him and others in small ways. I had one today and I think I did Him fairly proud. I didn't do what He would have done, because no one could do that... but He helped me to do something I've never done before. Isn't it funny how pride works though? Jesus made me do something impulsive, but then afterwards a small part of me wanted to pat myself on the back. Dislike. I only came to my senses when I realised that what I did was completely out of character; but not completely out of His character. I didn't do anything. Christ was driving and I am proud that He saw fit to do so.

I was also reminded today of the way in which I am excessively blessed; I want for nothing, although sometimes I want nothing but everything else. I should cut that out.

A bizarre dream

I had a truly bizarre dream last night. I quite often do but for some reason this one stuck in my head because it was semi-sadist.

I dreamt that I was driving the car, as you do, when all of a sudden I noticed that one of my animals was shut in the door. Like when you shut the seatbelt in the car door and the door is kinda shut but not really. Or when you shut your hand in the door and your fingers all break but you forget about it.

Anyway, my cat Shadow was shut in the door. She had made it into the car (mostly) before someone (me?) shut the door on her and trapped her there. Her left front paw up to the shoulder and part of her left back paw had been shut outside the car. I was alarmed! So I opened the door to let her out. Turns out she was fine, or I think so, because after limping off she disappeared from my dream and didn't return. But it gets worse.

Because my other cat Moonlight was jammed in the boot! If that had happened in real life she would have been cut in half and killed. I couldn't believe that not one, but TWO cats had been shut in openings of my car and left there helplessly. How does that even happen? Had another cat trapped them there?

And then there was a third cat I could not identify shut in another door. There is something wrong with me. Third time was the charm and I decided to dream about something else.

Jody

Today on the train I did something which scared me. I talked to someone I did not know, but have long observed from a distance. Her name is Jody.

I had been more than a little bit embarrased to talk to Jody before today. She made me uncomfortable because she's so loud and always makes a habit of talking to people on the train. You could say that I have been too scared to talk to her in the past. Today she sat across the aisle, one row in front of where I was sitting. I was fruitlessly trying to study for my theology exam, when I looked up and saw that she was looking my way, and in a moment of confusion I smiled at her and waved. It had been in the back of my mind that I should do so when she had sat down but I hadn't so now I was forced into a situation where it was required of me. She said hello and asked how I was and I did the same and before I knew it she had crossed the aisle to sit next to me.

And it was at this point that I began to feel really awkward because I had not wanted to be put into this situation. I had been quite happy sitting in my seat on my own, minding my own business, thinking my own thoughts; thoughts about me and people that I conceive of only insofar as they relate to me. I had been thinking about myself but now found myself forced to think about Jody. I learnt that Jody has brain damage. Having seen her on the train before I had been embarrassed and pointedly avoided sitting too close to her. I had seen the way in which she struck up conversations with strangers and been appalled to think that she might one day do so with me. But today I was reminded that when I sit on my own on the train and think about myself I am being a total dickhead. I love those moments when God suddenly reminds you that you're being an absolute tosser.

Because Jesus loves everybody. He knows anything and everything about Jody and loves her perfectly, just as he loves me. He has loved her for all time and he has a purpose for her. I learnt that she was in a car accident when she was 15 years old and that's the reason her speech is slurred. She took my hand and made me feel the bump on her head and under her left eye socket where the bones broke. I learnt that she used to have a brother, but he was killed in an accident 13 years ago. She attends a rehabilitation centre. She wasn't wearing a seatbelt when she was 15, and as a result she was heinously injured and had to be airlifted to hospital. She only just pulled through. I couldn't understand everything she said; but I think she said that she was going to be/wanted to be on an ad to show people how necessary wearing a seatbelt is. I also learnt that she believes in God, that she is happy with her life, and that she neither angry nor bitter about herself, or her brother (who is watching over her family from heaven). Jody is one of the most friendly and honest people I have ever met.

'The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.' 1 Samuel 16:7b

I so often look at the outward appearance and I make myself sick. Because I should know so much better. I am so thankful that God is patient because I would have lost my cool with me a long time ago. It is good to have your eyes opened, but I am sick of having them constantly reopened.

'What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?' James 3:14

I am always the first person to put up my hand and talk about my faith. Provided I am among Christians. Provided I am in a safe environment. Provided there is no danger of rebuke or discomfort. I talked to Jody about Jesus today, about his love for her and me and everyone. She said that she doesn't go to church anymore, and I really don't know if she knows Christ personally. But she believes in God and that she's on this planet for a reason. Wow. I entered that conversation thinking that I had been sent to talk to her. But I left it with the knowledge that she had been sent to talk to me. Jody was sent to snap me out of funk and remind me what I'm here for. She was sent as a catalyst to make me repent of my unbelieveable arrogance and contempt for God's people. Jody was sent to remind me that God loves everyone and I have to as well. Everyone.

'If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbour as yourself," you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.' James 2:8-9

If God had left it up to me I would have talked to the pretty blonde girl sitting across the carriage from me instead. But he didn't. Today God forced me to remember that I need to do more than just talk about my love for God's people. I need to live it. Praise God that He took the time to remind me that my life is not about me.

Retry

Hey, it has been a while since I've updated daily. I did the once a day thing for a while and that was cool. But I have decided I want to take this blog in a different direction. Sorry Katie. I'm going to update when the mood takes me or when I feel I have something of particular value to share. So here goes:

I wrote this piece of urban poetry in a quiet time with God this week and I quite like it. I hope you do too. It is about my walk with God.

Retry

I don't want to live to repent
I want to live repenitently
Not religiously
No, I want to live relationally
Lord
I want to love outrageously
But not indiscriminately
I want to love people right
Lord
I want to live and love righteously

Because I don't want to live to regret
I live to be rebuked
I am resigned
Lord
I live redeemed
But I want to be refined
Lord
I am resolved
But I want to be revolved
And live renewed;

I want to live so that others can see you Lord
So that others can see and live to love you too
Amen

25.09.09

Today was Friday, and what a Friday it was.

I am a leader in my church youthgroup which we like to call ALTR. I'm going to explain that. We take our name from Romans 12:1-2. Which reads as follows:

"Therefore I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Those are some pretty heavy but cool verses that sometimes we read a little too flippantly I think. They call for some pretty radical changes to the way in which we live our lives, or at least, to the way in which I live mine. They call for us to offer ourselves up as "living sacrifices" and I'm inclined to take that literally. I mean not that we should get all flagellant or anything, but that we should dedicate our lives to God, and if necessary die for Him. We need to place our lives upon the altar. We're also called to "not conform" to "the pattern of this world", ergo, alter our lives. And that is a pretty scary and crazy thing to be asked to do really isn't it? When you think about it. God is calling us to make ourselves aliens. Distinguished by our love for Him Do you think so? How can we do this? By "renewing our minds" in His Word? Those two verses are sort of our mission as a youth group. Someone had the idea to play upon the words altar and alter (which are synonyms of words that are actually in the text...) to make ALTR. Upon reflection I wonder if perhaps we should have chosen easier ones :P Because those are flipping challenging verses. But I think that may be the point. Certainly something to be working towards as young adults.

Anyway, I needed to explain that so this next part would make sense. Tonight ALTR went rollerblading in Panmure. We had to come dressed as something beginning with A, L, T, or R because those are the letters of our name. But hardly anyone did. Zaneeee and Megan made an effort (road worker and... ladybug? respectively), and so did Rowena and Sky (characters from some movie) , and Rachael and Sarah (twins)... but no one else. Zac didn't even come. So I found myself in a situation in which I felt overdressed. I'd had the inspiration to come as an Australian Lawbreaker, Troublemaker and all-round Rascal (Ned Kelly). I used one of mum's knives to cut a visor into a bucket which I covered in tinfoil to make a distinctive helmet. I had a boomerang and a pistol and a bandana and excalibur too. And another hat. I wore yellow. I was like an action figure with extra accessories. My dream for ALTR is that one day we'll all be dressing up like Ned Kelly.

24.09.09

I was wrong about yesterday. I thought it might have been a really bad day but in fact nothing happened. I thought it might spell the end of my blog... but here I am. Updating on time. As per usual.

23.09.09

I have a really bad feeling about today. I think today is the beginning of the end. I reckon that today will be a day in which I take a fall. Big. Time.

Forever.

It may take me almost a month to come to my senses. I hope that I do come to my senses because I really do enjoy blogging.

22.09.09

In my English tutorial today I helped to perform A Midsummer Night's Dream in ten minutes and it went really well. I am not usually great shakes at acting because I am very self conscious in front of people; the more people watching me the more awkward and uncoordinated I become. I shake. But today was awesome because our play was supposed to be awkward and uncoordinated and I let adrenaline drive. I was Demetrius, Puck and Bottom, and sometimes those characters had to be on the stage at the same time so I was running around a lot, and then I had a gorilla mask pulled over me, and then I was Pyramus. I say that I did all these things, but really it was a group effort; Rebecca, Jess and Robert all pulled multiple roles as well and we worked well as a team with our numerous props. I felt real good afterwards.

It was also funny seeing what some of the other groups did. Kirsty's group did a hilarious adaptation of Twelfth Night, a short play about making that play. And Katie and Mila's group also did A Midsummer Night's Dream, although theirs was very very different and quite awesome. I think Katie was a little bit ashamed of it because she kept going on about how short it was and how it didn't cover the whole play yadda yadda yadda. And she hasn't even mentioned it on her blog! But it was hilarious to see Katie and Mila play Lysander and Demetrius and wooing that South African guy in the skirt. Katie doesn't need to be ashamed anymore because the moustache actually suited her.

And then tonight I went and saw UP which was fantastic. Really really feel good, I like it temporarily. Mark bought me some Pineapple Lumps to thank me for rushing to pick up the other Mark but we ended up swapping them for Malteezers... which it turns out neither of us really like. I wanted to share the treat Mark had bought me with Mark to thank him for buying it for me. When he gave them to me Mark said I could change them to Malteezers or something if I wanted, so I took that to mean that he would prefer Malteezers so I said: "sure, let's change them for Malteezers". He ended up paying several more dollars for them (they cost $6.80 at the cinema!) and it wasn't until we got into the cinema that we realised that we would have both preferred Pineapple Lumps. Haha. The moral of this story is that you should ALWAYS choose what you want and NEVER compromise or choose something else for the sake of someone else who you think wants something different, because you will both end up HATING it.

21.09.09

Those of you who haven't watched The Departed should make it your mission to do so. It is a classic film with some classic actors in it.

It has so much going for it:
1. Guns. There are lots of guns in The Departed and people use them to shoot each other. A lot. This may not be everybody's cup of tea but I enjoyed it. The film is very... tense. Because people are frequently in danger of dying in horribly blood ways the audience pays attention. Spoiler: lots of people die.
2. Mobster. It is a mobster-copster thriller by Martin Scorcese and is therefore excellent. It is set in the present day but for some reason it felt to me like it was set in the past, like a classic gangster film. It has a sort of out-of-time quality I guess. Released in 2006, and based upon the 2002 Hong Kong film Infernal Affairs, The Departed is a classic modern mobster flick.
3. Jack Nicholson. I really like this guy, particularly after watching him perform as Private Investigator Jake Gittes in Chinatown (great film), and in The Departed Jack is Jake's antithesis. The head of the Irish Mob, Frank Costello is the reason that nothing makes sense in Chinatown, he is the cancer, the source of pure evil which destroys reason. And he is excellent. I really enjoyed comparing and contrasting Jack's portrayal of Frank with his portrayal of Jake. Both are distinctly Nicholson performances and yet they are at opposite ends of the morality spectrum. Nicholson captures the vitality of the gangster period perfectly, probably because he was one when he was younger, or moved in those circles. He also has one of those voices that I could listen to all day. Like Morgan Freeman. Which is why I liked The Bucket List.
4. Other actors. The Departed has some other actors, some of which are not too bad. Here's a list: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matthew Damon, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg. Pretty good aye? Might sound a little bit homo because I've only listed male actors, but to be honest there are only like one or two female characters anyway. Vera Farmiga, who plays a police psychologist, is the only female actress of note and even if you recognise her, you probably won't know where from (she was in The Manchuraian Candidate and The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas). In any event, she sleeps with both DiCaprio AND Damon in the course of the film, so was clearly only included as eye candy, which is a little bit sad. That's why my list of good actors was all male. Upon second consideration, the film might be a little bit sexist, but then so are mobsters; you should still watch it.

I haven't included much of a plot synopsis because that would spoil things. But you should watch this trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klT94Krv2M0&feature=related

I'm sorry I don't know how to embed video yet so you're going to have to follow the link. Can someone help me out?

You should watch this following clip if you want proof of point 1.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lak0__k8icw&feature=related

20.09.09

I had lunch with my friend Cameron today after church and it was cool to just hang out and eat butter chicken. I seldom eat "indian food" because it can be quite expensive, but I generally enjoy it when I do and today was no exception. There's just something about naan bread... Oh and I also bought a cool singlet today and did some weights with Josh. An awesome afternoon.

19.09.09

Today was a particularly productive Saturday in which I did a whole lot of things I don't normally do.

Firstly: make a salad. I do not usually make salads because I do not usually eat salads. But Josh and I made a honey soy chicken one which was pretty awesome today. I think the cashew nuts tipped the scale and made it amazing.

Secondly: have a picnic. Having made a salad we went to the Domain and had a picnic with some of his friends. We shared one of the rotundas with a homeless couple who seemed to want to keep to themselves. As we had some extra food we made up a plate to give to them but they didn't get it in the end because they left when we were playing with the frisbee. I felt like maybe we should have tried harder, it is something I have never had to deal with before. Jesus would have stuffed them full of food until they begged for no more. It was good times until I broke the frisbee.

Thirdly: help a charitable organisation/work with my hands. Emma had organised for a group of us to help assemble the furniture and fittings of a SIFS home thorugh an organisation called Homes of Hope. I helped put together a desk and several beds and hang curtains, and Josh's mum taught me how to fold towels in a most aesthetically pleasing way. It felt good to be part of something helpful, and to use my hands for something other than eating, writing or carrying things.

Fourthly: babysit for my pastor. I have babysat before, but not for money, and not for my pastor, so it was a refreshing experience. Normally guys aren't asked to babysit are they? It's a little bit weird. But anyway, we played monopoly, and they went to bed like little champions when I told them to.

Finally: watch a great game of rugby. Sometimes I watch alright games but I seldom watch great games. I am not usually an avid rugby watcher but tonight's game was fantastic. The All Blacks have so much going on; I can see why people get into them.

18.09.09

Beauty and the Beast has always been my favourite Disney animated film and here's why: it has the best original score and music of any film in the last 1000 years and the best rooftop fightscene ever. Tonight I went and saw the St Kentigern College production of the musical of that film and it was great.

Grace was both a dancing winebottle and silly girl #2, one of three such girls who swoon over Gaston and fall over a lot. She was very convincing in both capacities and I was very very proud of her. The rest of the acting was pretty mint too. Lumiere and Gaston in particular were fantastic! They sounded so much like their filmic counterparts that I was half convinced that they were the movie come alive. Belle and Beast were both great too; they used their own voices but I don't hold that against them, because they would probably have been harder to imitate. "Kill the Beast" is the best song.

I had one small qualm with the musical, and that was that its choreography degenerated towards the end. When the evil peasants were attacked by the cutlery in the castle things became very confusing. There were these mental girls (who were apparently supposed to be napkins) jumping into some boys arms and I fail to see why. The fact that they did it several times made me think that they probably just liked being held and that grossed me out. Not that it was their fault the choreography was confusing... but one of the napkins walked off stage holding hands with one of the villagers. It is little details like that that shake you from your immersement in the drama. Plus the fight between Beast and Gaston was lame. The fact that they didn't stage it on a roof was a bad start. They just pushed each other over for a while and then after Beast was stabbed he mauled Gaston to death... which isn't how it happened in the movie. I understand that it is a school production, and have it on Grace's authority that Gaston kicked Beast in the face and drew copious amounts of blood last night, but I think they could have choreographed a better fake fight.

I really liked it overall though. For real.

17.09.09

Tomorrow my essay on the French Revolution is due, and I am FREAKING OUT. I have never had so much left to do on the final day. I have to write two body paragraphs and a conclusion, do all my referencing, proof read and make amendments. For somebody like me that is a bad thing. I know people who leave their assignments until the night before their due, then write them in just a few hours that evening and do well. Those people make me furious. I estimate that it will take me approximately twelve hours; if I start about about quarter to four... I will get to bed at approximately quarter to four AM, and consequentially be very tired tomorrow. I would imagine I'll be the most tired that I have ever been before and have a deep deep tired feeling deep inside of me, inside of my chest, and also inside of stomach. Deep.

16.09.09

At some point during the last two weeks I have become incredibly lazy; I'm not quite sure when. I went swimming this morning but I only managed to do 22 lengths of the 25 metre pool. Last week I did 50. My desire to rest exceeded my inclination to exercise, and my selfish-seeking shade talked me into stopping, made excuses for my weakness.

I think I am becoming less of a man as I become less and less inclined to exercise vigorously. Chalk it up to a bad day if you want, but I think there is something seriously wrong with me and know that I can and should do better.

This isn't just about swimming. This is about not following through in general. I have an essay due on Friday and tonight I tried very hard to work on it. I told myself I would write two well crafted paragraphs (800+ words). But instead I only wrote one because I got distracted on the internet looking at some of the hilarious images people have made of Kanye West since his faux pas at the VMAs.

Sorry Kanye, but it is I that am the biggest clown of all time.

15.09.09

Today in my creative writing tutorial we talked about our upcoming portfolios, and I began thinking about what I'm going to do. Having completed poetry and prose, we now have to create a piece of multimedia; I am thinking I might do a comic because that would be totally awesome. I can't draw that well, but I can do sketches and write a script for someone who can, and create an entire world with my words. I'd love to do that for a job.

14.09.09

It is great to hang out with your friends and laugh immoderately, and that's what I did today with Dylan in theology. That course can be a little bit dry at times so I'm glad that I have friends who can spice it up.

We were talking and someone brought up the game "Zonk" and then things degenerated into great fun. For those of you who do not know, Zonk is a gender division game in which members of each sex take turns to turn over circles on a felt board and reveal the symbol underneath. There are different amounts of points on different circles, and the aim of the game is to get as many points as possible by lucky guesswork. Representatives of each sex get to flip up to three circles each turn to maximize their gender's points. There's a twist however. A number of the circles have the letter Z on the back, and a player who turns over one of these "zonks" loses all of their points for that round and is dismissed. Players may choose to end their turn after only one or two flips to protect the points they have collected.

It is a great game, the best thing about it being the way in which it manages to divide the sexes. Everybody gets sooooooo into it. The boys will yell zonk zonk zonk at the top of their lungs every time the girls have a turn, as if by shouting they increase the chances of their faltering. Conversely they will shout "BANK IT!!!" if one of their own has turned over some large points and still has turns remaining. I think the girls shout things too, but I'm not quite sure what because I can never hear them over the noise of the boys.

I think Zonk managed to divide the sexes today in theology as well. Dylan and I were having a grand old time reminiscing and I wrote "zonk" on a piece of paper and placed it face down in front of him. It was hilarious, but the girls failed to share our enthusiasm for the game. One person in particular did not seem to like it when i wrote her a secret note that just read "zonk" on it. Maybe she's just been zonked too many times over the years? Boys always win.

13.09.09

I was on set up this morning at church, which is probably the most underappreciated ministry in existence (administrative ministry). Because we meet in a school hall, all of our stuff is stored under a school stage in a crawl space. You have to pull box after box after box of gear out of this dark hole, then a whole lot of instruments, tables, our sound desk and more. Then you spend an hour setting it up. But you're there TWO hours before the service, because of course the musicians need to practise. Often you have heaps of time to kill before the regular friendly people even start to arrive. And the instant the service finishes you have to start packing up again. This time there are the 100 odd people who stick around to talk and get in your way. It can be very frustrating. You're the last people to leave, so if you've been invited over for lunch you're probably late.

Now I'm not complaining. No. Way. I have no problem helping set up from time to time. In fact I enjoy helping out. The selfish part of me wants to be recognised for it but I just tell that part of me to get stuffed. Set up just seems, however, like one of those things that people take for granted. This guy Andre has just stepped down from his position as head of the set up crew. He looked after it for NINE years and we thanked him for that today, but I reckon he's probably gone unthanked for a long time. By some people. I think I need to keep a look out for people who do these painstakingly menial but necessary tasks and remember to thank them for it often. Being taken for granted can be so discouraging.

12.09.09

Today sucked because it was really boring. I have an essay due next week so I spent most of the day reading about the French Revolution. Neo-Marxist scholarship leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I was working or semi-working from 10am until 5pm, probably one of my longest study days ever...

So tonight I hung out with Josh and we had bolognaise and watched this documentary about a Nazi stealth plane. This group of Americans who design and build stealth planes for the US military took the blueprints of this plane and made one of their own. They were saying that if it had gone into full scale production it would have changed the war irrevocably, because then the Germans would have won the Battle of Britain. Even crazier, they said that the Nazi brothers who designed it were in the process of designing a bigger one which Goering wanted to use to deploy an atom bomb in early 1946. I am gobsmacked.

11.09.09

Today I played squash for the first time in... probably almost four years, with my friend David. It was very exciting to play again and to laugh and laugh a lot. I am not very good at squash and never was, but I felt I did surprisingly well given that I was real sore (from last night's fight). It all came back surprisingly quickly, and soon we were playing as poorly as in years past. My serve is pretty devestating though.

If it wasn't so expensive I'd play squash every day.

10.09.09

Tonight I watched some b-grade girl movies with my friends. Sense and Sensibility and The Princess Diaries are not particularly gripping films at the best of times, but tonight was worse.
When I'm around friends watching movies I always cause trouble. I don't know what it is but something in me cannot stand to sit and watch movies silently; I like to talk and joke about them, and as a result, Olivia sometimes gets annoyed at me. Alyssa is messed up, she was saying that her throat makes rumbling noises like a tummy does sometimes. Morgan and Abi and Lyndon and Alyssa and I had a fight, and I won, by virtue of the fact that I am the most violent by nature.

09.09.09

Today was the one week anniversary of my friend Travis's birthday so he had a barbeque to celebrate. It was another one of those events, like the barbeque last week, where I got to see lots of people I know from back in the day, but this one went even further back. The people at it were/are my friends from back in intermediate, circa 2002. That's a week of years ago.

It was pretty cool aye. James and I manned the barbeque and I could feel the heat of the grill burning the small hairs off the top of my knuckles. Our steaks were still alive when we ate them.

08.09.09

Tonight at smallgroup we watched the first part of Louie Giglio's Prayer:a remix and it was great. It really really challenged me by pointing out some things that I already knew were true, and others I hadn't ever really thought about. In the series he tries to address some of the common catchphrases of prayer and why they suck and the first part covered a big one: "bless me."

"Bless me" (and its associated family of phrases: "bless us", "bless this mission thing we're doing" etc.) has a way of constantly cropping up in my prayers to the point that it becomes meaningless. I'm constantly praying to be blessed when God has already poured out his blessing in full upon me.

Ephesians 1:3 - Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

Christ is the fulfilment of the blessings promised in the Old Testament. Louie's point was that no one in the New Testament ever prayed for blessing, rather they thanked Christ for those that they had already received and prayed to be used. I don't do that enough. I don't think that he was trying to say we shouldn't ask God for help day to day. Because I'm still going to do that. But we need to stop thinking about ourselves and realise that WE ALREADY HAVE BEEN BLESSED. Instead of praying that God will bless me on my trip to... Florida, I should instead pray that God will use me to bless and glorify him on my trip. Something to think about. I don't want to pray catchphrases anymore.

07.09.09

Zac gave me the greatest idea ever tonight. We were chatting over the interweb when he said something that was so typically him, and so funny, that I said:
"haha. i like that expression. because i heard you saying it in my head. your audible voice"
Isn't it awesome when you read something and instantly know where to place the emphases for maximum effect? This was one of those moments but what followed was better. This conversation:
"hahaha was it as good as morgan freemans?"
"haha i wish i had read that in morgan freeman's voice... i wish i read everything in his voice!"
"imagine having his voice!!!!!!! that would be amazing"
"i am going to do a quiet time and read my bible with his voice in my head."
"hahahaha i think God would be laughing so much. it would be one of those awesome moments."
Hahahaha indeed. But this conversation got me thinking: surely there is a reason Morgan Freeman provides voiceover for so many films? He's even played God in a couple. The answer is simple: Morgan Freeman has been gifted a tiny fragment of the grace and beauty of God's own voice. Everybody has their own gift and this is his. He has been blessed with an Almighty voice. That being so, it makes sense to me that I should read anything and everything I come across in his voice. It is only logical to do so if I want to get closer to God. You should do it too. Come on! Start by returning to the beginning of this post and reading it through again Morgan Freeman style. You won't regret it.

06.09.09

Today was Father's day and I honoured Dad by purchasing him a Beegees's (be-jeez-uz) greatest hits album. It has 42 tracks on two discs and I know it will really infuriate my Mum. Dad's smirk when he opened it was priceless. But that wasn't even the best thing about today.

Today at church I looked after Xchange (the intermediate aged youth) so that the regular leaders could sit in on the Father's Day service. People in Sunday morning ministries need a break from time to time. I thought, that given it was Father's Day, I should present a message to that effect, so I spent a good amount of time yesterday preparing one. I had been a little bit worried about how it would go down, but things ran smoothly as. I talked about how we need to treat our fathers, drew a link between that and our treatment of our Heavenly Father, and then made them write letters addressed to both. It was a realllllllllll answer to prayer and afterwards I was buzzing. I felt very encouraged and received several compliments, but I know that they are not due to me, but to Him. I'm looking forward to having some of these young adults come through into our youth group next year.

05.09.09

I had never been to an engagement party before until today which is remarkable. Or rather, it is remarkable that I was invited: usually I am blacklisted. When Michelle was handing out invitations weeks ago I made a joke that my one was different and contained a notice from the police ordering me to cease and desist, and threatening me with police brutality and community service if I came within 500 yards of Zane's parents garage on Saturday the 5th of September. I was only half joking, and only half relieved to find I had been invited. just. like. everybody. else. Sometimes I wish that people thought I was such a rascal they would take a restraining order out against me to stop me from making their parties too much fun. The reality is i'm not that guy, no matter how much I posture and pretend that I am as a joke with my friends at church. That's why only Zac laughed when I said that.

So anyway, Michelle Griffiths is engaged to be married to Zane Brown of Franklin Baptist and this has caused quite a sensation at my church. It is cool to see them together because I think they are a great couple, and Zane isn't one of those pathetic fiances who treats their future spouse like a china doll. You know the ones? He knows she loves him so he can afford to joke around a bit. They are really good mates who can take a little bit of flack from each other and that is awesome. I want that one day.

Having never been to an engagement party before I wasn't sure how to dress. I settled on wearing my only nice shirt - a black one - with dark jeans and black loafers. I kinda knew when I looked in the mirror that I was dressed in a similar manner to the way Zane often dresses, and sure enough, I found he was dressed the same. Except he was wearing chucks. Zane is far more courageous and comfortable with himself than I am to the extent that he can wear chucks to his own engagement party and not break a sweat. I was glad to see that I was dressed to meet his minimum standard. A lot of the guests were dressed fairly casually, almost negligently, although these were mostly younger uncouth people. I was happy because my friends all looked beautiful/handsome.

The food was great.

04.09.09

Today I saw a friend whom I haven't seen for over two years and it was great. Jack went to live in Wellington an indeterminate number of years ago and I haven't seen him since St Kent's ball in 2007; it is cool to see people who are still the same after long absences. I think he was taller, and I had forgotten that he had glasses but Jack was essentially the same. Maybe his voice was a little deeper. Some people disappear from your world for a while and then reappear as wildly different people with purple hair and skinny jeans and are vegans or something weird. That infuriates me. Good on you Jack :)

I saw him at a barbeque my friend Matthew was hosting. I actually saw a whole lot of people there I don't see all that often. Andre is starting to tank out which makes me jealous. I didn't know Bundaberg made an Apple Ale. Reunions are great.

03.09.09

what did i do today? that's a good question. actually it was the first time in a good while that i have had a good old sleep in in the morning. i slept in so late that the morning was nearly over in two more hours when i got up! i don't usually sleep in so late because nothing gets done if i do, but it was necessary today after getting up early and going to bed late for so many days one after the other in a row in the previous weeks.

then tonight i went to Ben's house for dinner and met a whole lot of new people! Sue made a rice-base pizza which looked really weird but tasted amazing. there was also one with roast vegetables on it. i think my friends are all part of some sort of elite foreign culinary confederacy. they never talk about it when I'm around though because if they did they would have to kill me.

02.09.09

Today I went and saw Inglorious Bs at the movie theatres and it was a truly remarkable movie. I have to say that I really really liked it, despite Tarantino's excesses. He really knows what he wants out of his films. There were so many cool scenes, even violent ones! I liked the Bear Jew and the scene where they pretend to be Italians. I-talian. And B. J. Novak from The Office is in it, but the Germans call him The Little Man. I think Tarantino thought alot about the scene of that woman's film playing through the smoke in the movie theatre. He was clearly trying to say something there. Perhaps the movie theatre is an ironic device, an oven for Nazis, an anti-Auschwitz sotospeak. It was a great evening. And to top it off Josh screwed up his ticket and threw it into the box with the popcorn and Megan ate it. Ha.

01.09.09

Today was the first day of a new season, but more importantly it was Random Acts of Kindess Day. Or that's what Megan said, so I just went with it. I sometimes wonder what a person like me is able to do on days like this... how can I randomly make someone's day?

I settled on poetry because I've been doing a lot of that lately. My writing portfolio is due tomorrow and I am currently frantically working to finish it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to.

So I wrote name poems for everyone in my smallgroup and a few extra people; I should have done them for everyone but I simply did not have time and some people would have been creeped out. I wonder if maybe I missed the point of the exercise; there isn't really anything random about writing a poem for everyone in your smallgroup. That's methodical as! Way to ruin the magic Andrew.

But I came up with some pretty great ones anyway!
Josh Oversees Serbian Humility Under Apartheid
Many Eskimos Grasp Antarctic Naan
Marginally Amphibious Regional Krakatoa

And my favourite one:
Michelle Inhales Candy Hearts Exhales Lipstick Lotae Enthusiastically
I thought this one was real cool because Michelle is engaged to be married in January. Lotae doesn't appear to be a real word, but I used it as a plural for lotus.

31.08.09

Today was the final official day of winter and I didn't even realise. I hadn't a clue. I guess it was a little anti-climatic (ha) because we don't really have proper seasons in New Zealand. In movies it is always very obvious which season it is: If there is snow then it is winter; if there are orange leaves on the ground then it is autumn. But not in New Zealand; New Zealand has very few deciduous trees that I am aware of. It can sometimes be very hard to tell which season it is... I'm going to miss winter though. You may all be like "hey wha-!" but better the devil you know than the devil you don't I say. Spring is a joke, being the least consistent of all seasons, and I hate it. Expect sweltering heat and torrential rain in indeterminate measures

Oh and I wrote a short story today called "Mayor (Max) Moose" as a homage to "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov and "Alice's Adventures Underground" by Lewis Carroll. Both of those novels are disturbing on different levels which fascinates me. "Lolita" is very disturbing in its subject matter and many people can't stomach reading it, but I actually think Nabokov is a genius. It is so well written, and the man clearly isn't a pedophile himself. Lewis Carroll on the other hand most definitely was, and yet everyone loves "Alice's Adventures Underground", especially children. That's creepy as. I'm not one and my story isn't about that, so "Mayor (Max) Moose" falls somewhere in the middle.

30.08.09

Today I played Saul of Tarsus in a drama at church. It was "Extreme Makeover Soul Edition" and boy did I need one. Cathy had assembled a costume that made me look like a smaller Hagrid or Sith lord John the Baptist. It was awesome. I had two lines totalling four words because I'm new to church drama. I don't think they wanted to throw me in the deep end because I'm obviously not ready. They even cut one of my lines. I got a hip hop makeover complete with a giant Star of David and associated bling (which i gave to the Bayly's for their birthday). What really stuck with me though was that I didn't feel any different in my heart afterwards; certainly I was more fashionable, but deep down I was the same monster. This was registered in my stone cold expression slash vacant stare, and in my static unmoving body. Sometimes it is good to be reminded that it takes much more than a makeover to change who you are on the inside, and that it is the inside which really matters. Too often I fall into the consumerist trap but Jesus doesn't buy it for a second.

29.08.09

Welcome to the disco zeppelin
get down all night!
up in the Rhineland

follow the smokey trail
through the paranormal door
to Leviathan mountain
and the echo lighthouse house

slipping orange lanterns
into the watercooler;
you're methamphetaMINE!

28.08.09

There is nothing particularly remarkable about water in my ear but it is frustrating that it still hasn't come out. As far as I know. I swam 46 lengths this morning and am thus rewarded. I had a nap before and when I woke up I had a mint headache; I think some of the water has leaked into my brain.

I don't even want to think what the chlorine is doing to my frontal lobe. Everything is muffled.

We're doing a sex talk at youth tonight and Josh is coming along because he's curious.

27.08.09

I went to the Relax cafe today but I didn't buy anything. Jon bought some food but I ate several pieces of fruit from my bag instead. And I didn't even feel guilty. The old me would have felt guilty but I've changed. I don't know if I have become more easy going or more of a cheapskate...
At Creative Team meeting there was a strong push from within the group to make September "commemorate Michael Jackson month". Expect AT LEAST 2 tracks in sunday services. Also: the Berlin wall.

26.08.09

Today I had pork chops cooked in a slow cooker. It is the first time mum has used it, having bought it on sale from Briscoes: it is part of the Abbey Lane collection so I know it must be good. I have to say though that I am not entirely sure how it works.

I like to think of it as a small sauna, with less sweaty men and women, and more onions. The contents are cooked excruciatingly slowly in their own juices for a number of hours, like when you leave a loaf of bread or a cake out in the sun and you return to find it all sweaty. Get a part-time job, go to the movies, because you have nine hours to kill before dinner. The whole process seems very inhumane, especially when you stop and put yourself into that situation. Did anyone ever tell you at school that you can boil frogs without them even realising if you increase the temperature of their water very gradually? This is essentially the same thing. I wonder if the pork chops knew or if the seasonings suspected, that the end was coming, if they even felt the heat as they were slowly scorched. Maybe realisation came upon them all at once towards the end, as they slipped into unconsciousness and onto my plate. Maybe they are more observant than frogs. Certainly they're tastier.

25.08.09

i have been robbed. tonight at smallgroup we had a smoothie making competition and mine was the best by far. no. question. but i didn't win.... because the good guy can't win every time. that would be boring. i made a smoothie with ginger nuts and iced tea and hazelnut spread and coconut rough and vanilla essence and cinnamon and icecream and a banana and no milk because that would have made it too runny. there were probably other ingredients. anyway, it was the most delicious smoothie in existence. but i didn't win because Zane was one of my judges and she doesn't like ginger nuts which must be a South African thing? also Kim was judging mine. but she's a nutritionist.

props to Zac for taking it out, your smoothie was pretty awesome too.

24.08.09

blogging is really about who you know.
if you know people, then you'll make the dough.
maybe if you get enough hits people will want you to advertise for them,
and they'll send you packages of stuff to keep;
biscuits or magnets or actions figures or whatever.

anyway... i'm excited because today a major blogsite gave me a shout out.
expect page views to increase dramatically.
you may in fact be unable to get on here due to the traffic :(

I'm doing this because other people are doing it

It has come to my attention that everybody is blogging
and in the future
people without blogs will not get any food stamps
so i made one for me.