Jody

Today on the train I did something which scared me. I talked to someone I did not know, but have long observed from a distance. Her name is Jody.

I had been more than a little bit embarrased to talk to Jody before today. She made me uncomfortable because she's so loud and always makes a habit of talking to people on the train. You could say that I have been too scared to talk to her in the past. Today she sat across the aisle, one row in front of where I was sitting. I was fruitlessly trying to study for my theology exam, when I looked up and saw that she was looking my way, and in a moment of confusion I smiled at her and waved. It had been in the back of my mind that I should do so when she had sat down but I hadn't so now I was forced into a situation where it was required of me. She said hello and asked how I was and I did the same and before I knew it she had crossed the aisle to sit next to me.

And it was at this point that I began to feel really awkward because I had not wanted to be put into this situation. I had been quite happy sitting in my seat on my own, minding my own business, thinking my own thoughts; thoughts about me and people that I conceive of only insofar as they relate to me. I had been thinking about myself but now found myself forced to think about Jody. I learnt that Jody has brain damage. Having seen her on the train before I had been embarrassed and pointedly avoided sitting too close to her. I had seen the way in which she struck up conversations with strangers and been appalled to think that she might one day do so with me. But today I was reminded that when I sit on my own on the train and think about myself I am being a total dickhead. I love those moments when God suddenly reminds you that you're being an absolute tosser.

Because Jesus loves everybody. He knows anything and everything about Jody and loves her perfectly, just as he loves me. He has loved her for all time and he has a purpose for her. I learnt that she was in a car accident when she was 15 years old and that's the reason her speech is slurred. She took my hand and made me feel the bump on her head and under her left eye socket where the bones broke. I learnt that she used to have a brother, but he was killed in an accident 13 years ago. She attends a rehabilitation centre. She wasn't wearing a seatbelt when she was 15, and as a result she was heinously injured and had to be airlifted to hospital. She only just pulled through. I couldn't understand everything she said; but I think she said that she was going to be/wanted to be on an ad to show people how necessary wearing a seatbelt is. I also learnt that she believes in God, that she is happy with her life, and that she neither angry nor bitter about herself, or her brother (who is watching over her family from heaven). Jody is one of the most friendly and honest people I have ever met.

'The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.' 1 Samuel 16:7b

I so often look at the outward appearance and I make myself sick. Because I should know so much better. I am so thankful that God is patient because I would have lost my cool with me a long time ago. It is good to have your eyes opened, but I am sick of having them constantly reopened.

'What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?' James 3:14

I am always the first person to put up my hand and talk about my faith. Provided I am among Christians. Provided I am in a safe environment. Provided there is no danger of rebuke or discomfort. I talked to Jody about Jesus today, about his love for her and me and everyone. She said that she doesn't go to church anymore, and I really don't know if she knows Christ personally. But she believes in God and that she's on this planet for a reason. Wow. I entered that conversation thinking that I had been sent to talk to her. But I left it with the knowledge that she had been sent to talk to me. Jody was sent to snap me out of funk and remind me what I'm here for. She was sent as a catalyst to make me repent of my unbelieveable arrogance and contempt for God's people. Jody was sent to remind me that God loves everyone and I have to as well. Everyone.

'If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbour as yourself," you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.' James 2:8-9

If God had left it up to me I would have talked to the pretty blonde girl sitting across the carriage from me instead. But he didn't. Today God forced me to remember that I need to do more than just talk about my love for God's people. I need to live it. Praise God that He took the time to remind me that my life is not about me.